Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Allow me to introduce myself...

I would like to think that i am one hell of a hype man. Being the middle child of my siblings (and being the one who was never really that "good" at anything), i took on the role to be the cheerleader. I was always on the sidelines at every one of my sister's soccer games, or in the stands every football game that my brother played in marching band in, or at every music concert my baby sister showed off her immense self taught abilities of the multitude of instruments she could play - i was there. This bled into my college and adult years too with my friends. I was right there with them to celebrate their successes, to be their #1 fan - but never had much to celebrate in myself. I had pretty music tried everything once (or twice) ranging from athletics, to singing, to dancing, to teach myself to play an instrument, to academics.... nope. Just wasn't there - all the talents were distributed elsewhere. BUT, need a pick me up? I AM YOUR GIRL. It made me feel good, to make others feel good.

I refuse to let my friends or family speak negatively of themselves, and am "annoyingly" (so they say) trying to keep a optimistic attitude and find that good ol' silver lining.

While i'm sitting here pouring out this positivity, and living vicariously through those around me - i began feeling lost. I cry hard, and feel worthless. Questioning what i was meant for.  I realize that i started feeling this way because i feel STUCK. Like most mid-20 year olds, i couldn't wait to graduate college and now i'm like wait..... who let me out into this world? I knew nothing about being an "adult", or what i am going to do. Taxes confuse me. Why is furniture SO EXPENSIVE? 401k and investing - you lost me. I stumbled my way through some jobs, and ended up at a great company with good benefits, everything i was "supposed" to do - but still felt so lost.

"You haven't gone to the gym in over a week, put down the cheetos puffs"
"you are almost 27 - and literally not doing anything you wanted.... you're just wasting life"
"You need to go out and join a new club, or volunteer or DO SOMETHING else... other than watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. for the 10th time through."

Then i sit back and realize - Why am i so hard on myself? You wouldn't let anyone talk to you that way, or you best friend that way, or YOUR MOM that way? Why is our inner monolog so mean?!

Because you know you deserve more.

A flip switched in my brain that i need to be by own hype man, my own cheerleader... rather than waiting around for someone to say the exact words i know i need to hear., or waiting for life to happen. That i am the only one telling myself that i can't. I've been sitting here telling everyone else they can, but telling myself the opposite.

My goal is to bring you along on this journey, and create authentic content of real things that i would want to see! Like getting advice from your BFF, favorite cousin, or co-worker. I want to cater to woman from all walks of life - of shapes, sizes, and colors. Because we can all get a little lost in the idea of what we are made for, what is our purpose? My hope is to be a beacon of light in your life. To share stories with you that will make you smile, laugh, cry and give you some pretty sweet life hacks recipes and advice along the way.

I'm your new bff, Claire. And i'm here to help clarify some life with you.


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