Tuesday, January 15, 2019

The Tuesday Stigma

I've always found about halfway into January, i begin to develop this overwhelming feeling of blahhhhhhh. The "Tuesday feel" i call it. Because in my mind - Tuesday is the worst day of the week. Worst than Monday, too far from Friday. UGH. The hype of the new year, and the freshness that it seems to bring all just seems to start dying down. All the resolutions i had in mind - how i was going to start writing in my blog everyday, how i will hit the gym more, how i was going to stop eating so much sugar, how i was going to stop cussing so much and be more positive.... all that came to a pretty quick stop. You know why, my friend? Because of the insane amount of pressure that comes with the "new year, new me" stigma leads to tons of promises that i vow to keep, some of those i voiced out loud, others were just floating around in my head.


On New Years Day,  i spew off about seven or eight more resolutions i had for myself to my boyfriend. Learn to play the guitar. Pick up a new language. Eat less chocolate/sweet (lol...okay), Cook healthy dinner every night. Pay off one of my credit cards in full. Read at least 10 books. Stop coming home and just watching tv every night. Getting up an hour earlier everyday to work out. "hahahahahaha damn claire. you sure are setting the bar pretty high" Cory mocks.

but yall... he ain't wrong.The dreamer in me went way too hard. The drive i felt on the first day of the year, has long dwindled away by the 15th, which guess what - IS A TUESDAY. My problem was instead of setting smaller obtainable goals - i went big... way too big, then almost immediately had a horrible sense of anxiety and failure before i could start on any of it.

I, like pretty much every other person on the planet, i am ridiculously impatient. I feel the need to see immediate results to whatever i'm putting efforts in on, or i instantly become discouraged and give up. I decided no more of this... that to take a step back and stop being so damn hard on myself.

I refocused and decided to just stop giving a hoot and have one resolution - to stop being so mean to myself, and just do what makes me happy. That's it. To revel in the crappy days, because it will help me enjoy the good ones. To not stress so much when things don't work out, because maybe they weren't supposed to. To do little more everyday toward what i do want, and allow myself to relax and not feel guilty on the days where i just need to rest.

I have no idea what 2019 will hold, but i do know whether i learn to play the guitar or give up sweets for good - one thing will be for sure, i will be happy with it.
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